Silly Love Songs
by Glitter's Infatuation
Summary: What if Christian didn't climb the elephant? Could the Argentinean still bring the lovers together?


Silly Love Songs 

By Glitter's Infatuation

****

**What would have happened if Christian hadn't climbed the elephant? Would Satine fall for him in another way? Also, I HATE TOULOUSE'S LISP! DAMMIT! **ahem** Anyway, enjoy and R&R!**

'We will conduct our love affair right under the Maharajah's – uck" his eyes flew back into his head and the Argentinean collapsed to the floor with a resounding thump, halfway through the rehearsals. Immediately chaos ensued, Satie and the doctor dragged their unconscious friend off stage, Satine crossed her arms and pouted dramatically and Zidler looked like he was about to have a heart attack. 

'How are we supposed to rehearse while he is _asleep?_' Satine stormed off stage, determined to perform a successful "tiara tantrum", 'I will not perform this show unless I can rehearse with **SOMEBODY NOW!**' 

The door slammed behind her, and Harold became the authoritative father figure. This was the show that would make Satine a star, the Moulin Rouge famous, and he would do anything to make sure everything was perfect for his little cherub. 

'Toulouse! Where are you, you demonic little loon? Get me another penniless sitar player; or you and your bohemians will be banned from the here. _Forever_.' The final words were barely whispered, but they conveyed total truth. That scared Toulouse. What else was there for him if he didn't have the Rouge to party in? Throwing on his famous hat, he scurried out into the daylight to find another actor. But the question was; who could play the part of the young talented sitar player?

Toulouse rubbed his eyes and furrowed his brow as he desperately tried to remember where he's heard something along those lines before. Gazing skyward, the tiny artist screwed his eyes up as he peered at his studio. AHA! The memory came to his head fast, how could he have forgotten? His eyes travelled downwards until they were staring at the window alongside the giant 'L'amour Fou' sign.

__

Christian

It was actually the young writer's day off, he'd been writing and helping set up the Moulin Rouge's show for two solid weeks. Toulouse grinned wryly as he saw Christian typing furiously, his hands blurring over the shiny typewriter's keys. It was probably another love scene, with the courtesan and penniless sitar player conveying their true love. Toulouse knew that Christian saw the scenes as if _he_ were the sitar player. He so obviously liked Satine, but then, who didn't? With her translucent skin, piercing lapis lazuli eyes and russet hair, Satine was an extraordinarily beautiful courtesan. 

A tiny plan blossomed in Toulouse's mind, and he giggled slightly as he crossed the busy road, earning strange looks from passers-by. Christian would love to woo Satine, but he was painfully shy, so how about if he read the sitar player's lines? It would be a good chance [and much less expensive] for the writer to meet his star girl and maybe Satine would like him back. The final thought was highly unlikely, Satine would probably become a nun before she fell in love, but it would be a good chance to let Christian express his feelings for her, even if he was reading them out loud from a sheet.

Throwing open the door to Christian's garret, Toulouse never bothered to knock, the younger bohemian gasped and jumped almost a foot in the air at his companion's arrival. Christian hurriedly ripped out the sheet he had been typing and scrunched it into his trouser pocket, whilst blushing fiercely.

'My deawest Chwistian, we have wun into a tewwible dilemma. The Awgentinean has fainted again, and Satine will not weheawse without a penniless sitaw pwayer. Please could you help us out and fill in for us? All you would have to do is to wead the lines fwom the scwipt!' Toulouse gazed pleading at Christian, while the young writer squirmed. 

'But, but Toulouse! I-I couldn't possibly…' Christian's voice trailed off as he thought of Satine, and a rosy glow crept up his neck and inflamed his cheeks. Satine hadn't looked twice at him since that fateful 'Red Room' incident, and he desperately wished that he'd gone to visit her that night. His mind was full of 'What Ifs', and he was snapped back to attention by Toulouse kicking him sharply in the kneecap. 

'Ahh! Toulouse! Why me, anyway? Why couldn't you get Satie or the Doc to fill in?' Christian rubbed his knee and glared at Toulouse, demanding an answer. Toulouse gulped and hurriedly gabbled in reply. 

'Satie and Doc are busy with the Awgentinean, and Satine wants to weheawse now. Zidwer is not happy either, and you are the onwy one who knows all the lines pwopewly! Please Chwistian, I'm begging you.' 

Christian sighed and rolled his eyes. 'Fine, Toulouse, I'll do it. But no laughing at my acting, or my singing for that matter.' Straightening up, he barely had time to grab his jacket before Toulouse was calling for him halfway down the staircase. Grinning to himself, Christian flew down the stairs and thought wryly to himself. 

__

The things I do for love. Well, Toulouse and the play anyway. 

~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~ 

Satine sat in front of her vanity mirror, trying desperately to apply her lipstick properly while ignoring Nini, who stood stubbornly in the doorway. 

'Come on princess, your chariot on stage awaits.' Nini's voice was taunting, and Satine had to use every muscle in her body not to jump up and ram the lipstick tube down Nini's throat. She had been a constant annoyance recently, even more so when she had been told that she had to play Satine's evil mother in the show. Peeking out the corner of her eye, Satine glared viciously at her dark-haired rival, before calmly returning to the mirror. 

'Ooh, don't go all coy and ignorant on me, sweet-cheeks. They might think you're Miss Perfect and Wonderful, but I know that you're nothing more than a high class whore.' 

That was it. 

'Takes one to know one then Nini, eh? Actually, saying that, you're not like that at all. You're just a whore, forget the high-class bit.' Nini growled and slunk away, while Satine did a small victory dance in her seat and flew her hair about her. She giggled and was about to go back onstage when she heard Harold's footsteps and remembered her previous tantrum. Pouting fiercely, Satine turned back to the mirror and ignored Harold when he entered. 

'We have found a sitar player for you cherry! I'm afraid it will have to be the writer, but until that dratted Argentinean wakes up, he's the only one who knows the lines. Are you ready to knock them dead, my little sparrow?' 

Satine flashed a bright smile and whirled around in her chair. 'Will this make me a star, daddy?' Satine saw Harold flush with fatherly pride. She wasn't his real daughter, but as good as. Satine only ever called him Daddy when they were alone and at very special occasions. 

'Baby, would daddy let you down? I just want the best for my little strawberry, don't I?' Harold stood up straight and extended his arm in a gentleman fashion, 'May I escort the young dazzling diamond to her stage? The crowds await you, my dear' Satine giggled and curtseyed, before accepting Harold's outstretched hand. 

'Why, certainly good sir! The show must go on.'

~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~

Why was he so nervous? Standing on the vast half-constructed stage, Christian wiped his palms furiously on his trousers as he agitatedly waited for Satine. He half-hated half-loved Toulouse for making him take the Argentinean's part, but he was mostly nervous about singing to Satine. He'd written a rough song about fighting for love, and he hoped desperately that he wouldn't sound like a mouse on helium when he sang it. Before he had time to begin to worry about his acting, Satine arrived on stage, arm in arm with Harold. Smiling shyly, Christian ducked his head while Satine smoothly glided over to him to meet the young writer. She'd met him in her elephant, under rather embarrassing circumstances, which had resulted in her being sung to and believing that she was in love.

Pathetic

Satine gazed into Christian's bottle-green eyes and fought fiercely against a tide of emotions that she'd never felt before. Stepping smoothly away, Satine glanced at Harold, before nodding curtly at the dancers and beginning her act.

'How can I love? I am a courtesan, I do not even know the meaning of the word!'

'Love is everything! To be in love is the most fabulous feeling in the world, to feel complete, to be whole. A life without love, that's terrible!'

The words were spoken with such conviction that Satine almost believed they were coming from the top of his head. She bit back her own replies and instead answered the one's she'd rehearsed for hours.

'No, being on the street, that's terrible.'

'No!' Satine gasped freely at his persuasive tone of voice. She grinned to herself; this could get very interesting.

'Love is like oxygen, love is a many splendid thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!'

Satine sighed, 'Please don't start that again…'

'All you need is love!' Christian's voice was slightly rusty.

'A girl has got to eat!'

'All you need is love!'

'She'll end up on the streets'

'All you need is love' his voice drifted off softly and sadly, and Satine couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for me. She raised her eyebrows and sang back to him.

'Love is just a game.'

The band flew into action, and the big number was up. Christian grinned, feeling alive and kicking and determined to prove Satine wrong.

'I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for lovin' me!'

'The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee.' Satine's tone was playful, so Christian went for pitiful.

'Just one night baby just one night.'

'There's no way, 'cause you can't pay.' 

'In the name of love! One night in the name of love.' Satine giggled and turned away, while Christian followed like an adoring puppy.

'You crazy fool, I won't give in to you.' She turned to walk away, but stopped when she heard Christian's sweet voice call to her.

'Don't leave me this way, I can't survive without your sweet love, oh baby' he gazed adoringly at her, 'don't leave me this way.'

Satine sighed. This was all just too real. 'You think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.' She lamented softly, while Christian came up behind her and whispered into her ear.

'I look around and I see, it isn't so, no.' He chuckled softly, and so did Satine.

'Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.'

'Well, what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, 'cause here I go, again!' Christian raced to the partially constructed side of the stage and scrambled up onto a tiny ledge, while Satine shrieked behind him.

'Love lifts us up where we belong! Where eagle's fly, over mountains high.' Turning around, Christian saw Satine looking petrified for him, so he jumped down and stood closely next to her, making her blush.

'Love makes us act like we are fools,' Satine broke away from their close encounter and stormed to the centre of the stage, 'throw our lives away, for one happy day.'

'We could be heroes! Just for one day.' Christian's clear voice echoed around the room, which was full of silent transfixed people watching the unusual scene.

'You, you will be mean' Satine ad-libbed her lines, trying not to fall under Christian's spell, but it was so hard.

Christian giggled. 'No, I won't'

'And I, I'll drink all the time!' Now Satine was desperate.

'We should be lovers!'

'We can't do that' Satine's voice was quiet and pitiful. She was crumbling.

'We should be lovers, and that's a fact.'

'Though nothing,' Satine knew she was reading the written lines, but she felt something else there too, something powerful taking hold of her, 'will keep us together.' 

'We could steal time'

'Just for one day' their voices blended in perfect harmony.

'We could be heroes, forever and ever! We could be heroes'

'Because I will always love you!' Christian voice filled the hall with melody, and Satine joined in soon after.

'I have always loved you.'

It felt like it was just the two of them on stage, pouring out their hearts and exposing their souls to one another. It was like magic.

'How wonderful life is, now you're in the world.' Their voices harmonised, Christian's deepening and Satine's becoming almost a whisper. Grinning wickedly, Satine couldn't wait for their next few lines.

'You're going to be bad for business, I can tell.' She barely breathed the words before capturing Christian's mouth in a heart-stopping kiss that caused fireworks behind Satine's eyes. She wanted the kiss to go on forever, but they both jumped apart quickly when they heard a loud coughing from the stage steps.

'You gonna finish anytime soon?' Nini's voice broke the stunned silence, and slowly people began to move about, whispering excitedly about the extravaganza they had just seen in front of their very eyes.

Christian kept his eyes firmly to the floor, blushing madly, while Satine kept her head up high, her cheeks slightly flushed.

'Is there a problem, Antonia?' Satine's voice was cool, yet it cracked slightly in places. Nini stalked off again, while Christian looked slightly confused.

'Antonia? I thought that was Nini.'

Satine smiled warmly, 'Nini's her nickname, because there's another Antonia here, who goes by the name of Harlot. We called her Nini because when you say it phonetically, it sounds like ninny.' Satine grinned impishly before leaning forward and whispering into Christian's ear, 'Meet me in the Red Room, close the door and dim the lights. I will be yours truly if indeed the…_poetry_ is right.' Stepping away, Satine winked and then fled through the door, leaving a dumbfounded Christian on the stage, feeling like the world had no ceiling and he was going to float right out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~

I own nothing, blah-bitty-blah blah. I got the idea when I was listening to the commentary on my MR DVD :) All hail Baz and Craig! The Elephant Love Medley belongs to Baz, but all the individual songs belong to their respective owners ;)  
Shall I write more? Do you think this should be continued? Please R&R!


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